Breaking the Doll's House
by Tanith Tumultuous
Summary: With Sara trapped under a car in the desert, the truth will out. Will Catherine get to her in time, or is it lights out for Sara?
1. Missing

"My God." Said Grissom "She was at the crime scene."

Nick furrowed his brow. "So she salvages the car, and somehow gets it out to the desert, and grabs Sara, and puts her under it?"

Warrick concurred, looking from Nick to Gil in a hope to gain some insight. "I don't get it. What does Sara have to do with bleach?"

There was a pause. Catherine's heart seemed to beat out in hummingbird rhythm, a realisation coming to her.

All she could feel was total numbness. All she could think was thought in quick succession, over and over again. _Now I'll never get to tell her how I felt. I could have saved her. Sara's gone. Sara's gone._

"I don't know. This just feels different." Her heart was breaking. It felt different, alright. It felt personal.

Grissom swallowed. "It is different." He exhaled. "This girl holds me responsible for the death of Ernie Dell. I took away the only person she ever loved, so she's gonna do the same thing to me"

Catherine turned around, the look of pain evident in her eyes. "The only person _you've _ever loved? Don't give me that crap, Gil! You've never loved anyone in your life, and what's worse is that you don't love Sara! Oh, you pretend to, but when you love someone it would rip out your heart, the very soul of you, when they're even in the slightest danger! She loves you so much, and you play her around, you use her as _bait_ even, and she goes along with it all because you're the only person in this world she loves. So tell me, Gil, was it worth it? You're in love with the idea of being in love, and it almost got Sara _killed!_ Is your messed up game done now? Or are you going to, oh, I don't know, _marry_ her or something? Why are you so calm." Tears were streaming down her face, her perfect make-up undone, her perfect façade coming apart. She grabbed Grissom by the arms. "Goddamn it Grissom, answer me! You shouldn't be this calm! Why aren't you out there, tearing the desert apart, looking for the girl?"

There was a pause. The team stared blankly on. Catherine looked around, as if looking for support, and found none. Just more shell shocked faces, people who claimed to be Sara's friends, _family_ even.

"Forget it." She threw her hands up in the air, as if giving up, and stormed out. "I'll find her my goddamned self."

All that worry, all that pain, and all that was left was one thought.

Just one.

_What if she's dead?_


	2. Natalie

_Sara tried to free her arm from the car. It was no good. She tried to assess the damage as analytically as possible. Concussion, bruised ribs. No… not bruised. Cracked. Two of them, maybe three. Her ankle didn't feel amazing, and she knew she was in danger of drowning as the rain was coming down heavily now. _

_She had to get free. She felt her fingertips grab at the wet dirt. She pulled and pulled, but her arm was really fucking stuck in there. It was no use! She'd die out here. She knew it. Sara tried to sleep as water slowly rose atop the desert sand. It'd be easier that way. _

Catherine was typing, furiously, on one of the lab computers. Originally, she'd planned to search the desert, but knowing what she did she knew she'd be searching to the end of days before she found anything. She'd taken a sample of the sand from the desert miniature- knowing that the killer was nothing if not accurate- and was trying to at least triangulate a search area of the desert, but it was seemingly fruitless. The whole of Nevada was desert, for Christ's sake!

Her pager beeped. Then her phone. She checked her pager first, knowing that any contact about Sara would be sent through that. A 911 from Grissom. As she stood up to leave, she pulled her phone out.

The text she received was a little more in-depth._ "MK in Custody. G interrogating. Observe." _As soon as she'd read it, she broke into a run. She wanted to speak to this bitch, immediately.

As she approached interrogation, Nick stepped into her path.

"Whoa there, Catherine! I take it you got my text?"

Catherine fruitlessly attempted to push past Nick.

"Yeah, I got it. Now let me through. I need to talk to her!" Catherine shouted.

Nick frowned at his senior CSI. "Cath, you know I can't let you in there in this state. Come and observe. Speak later."

_Sara frowned as an image of the team photo on her dresser flashed into her mind. Nick had been standing next to her, laughing slightly at something she'd said, and Catherine had slung an arm round her shoulder to pull her close so she could make a joke about Grissom not being in the photo. She couldn't remember what it was, just that it was funny- and the fizzy feeling in her stomach. Greg had been sprawled in front of her, one leg outstretched and the other bent, leaning back against her legs. Warrick had been to Nick's left, smiling at the camera. _

_She had to get out. _

Catherine growled. The bitch was singing! Grissom had _complimented_ her fucking handiwork! She'd had enough. She stormed into the interview room, completely unfazed by the people in her way.

"Where is she? Tell me, you fucking psycho! What have you done with Sara? You've made a mistake, she's not Grissom's, she's mine!"

Natalie broke off. "Not… Grissom's?" She looked from Catherine to the man in front of her. He was not unaffected, but the look her gave her clearly showed no actual love for the woman he'd essentially put to death. "Yours?"

Catherine nodded. Her face was streaked with tears. She felt like she was missing a limb. "Please, Natalie. Tell me where she is. I need her."

The girl in front of her broke a little. "She's… Special?"

Catherine nodded again. Natalie's face hardened. She turned away and stared at the desk in front of her.

"I'm special." She muttered, before she was silent.

"More than one person can be special, Natalie." Grissom interjected, earning a dirty look from Catherine and getting nothing from Natalie.

Natalie did not speak again.

_Sara grit her teeth. She took a deep inbreath, before plunging underwater. She took one look at her arm and knew there was nothing for it. _

_She twisted her arm, far enough to feel it break, and wrenched it free from the car. The pain blinded her for a mere seconds, an underwater scream tearing from her lungs, before she used her remaining arm to drag herself free. As soon as she'd escaped the undercarriage, she took a rest against the side of the car. She'd have to start walking soon. The desert sun would come out at some point, and she'd die out here without help. It was a tiny chance, but it was a chance. _

_A chance was all she needed. _


	3. Finding Sara Sidle Part 1

Catherine had decided. Lab work wasn't helping, and she had her phone. She'd do a search. She knew it was pointless- she had nowhere near enough evidence to get a helicopter and no idea where to start, but she felt so useless. Sara was out there dying and Natalie had lost her fucking mind.

Grissom had pulled her to one side after her outburst in the interrogation room. "Catherine. I need to know what you meant in there. Is Sara sleeping with you?"

Catherine had wanted to punch him in the face so badly. Sara was out there dying, and here was Grissom asking if she was being… _unfaithful?_

The man was unbelievable. Catherine was reacting weirdly to this, but Grissom just… wasn't reacting at all. So Catherine told him the truth.

"Sara is my best friend. She sort of appeared in my life one day, about 2 years after she appeared here. I was at the mall, going to pick Lindsey up from Eddie. When I got to the meeting point, Eddie wasn't there. But someone else was. This woman was sitting on the bench, just going through Lindsey's science homework and helping her design something for the science fair. I went storming over to ask this woman what she thought she was doing when she looked up and grinned at me. Eddie had ran off to pick up one of his girls and left Lindsey in the mall. Sara had found her sitting alone and asked her if she was Cath's kid. I tried to keep Sara away, god knows why, but for some reason Lindsey loved her. She wanted to learn science from her, which is something I could never get her into. Sara fell in to my life as ungracefully as possible, and now she's the only person I trust. Here you are, acting like it's nothing to worry about, like Sara's not dying out there! I hate you, Grissom, I really do. I'm gonna find her, Grissom. I'm gonna save her like she saved me."

That was that. The hardest story Catherine had ever told. She'd driven to the city limits, into the desert. It was no use. She threw a pack of bottled water into her backpack, a few deli sandwiches and a flashlight then she got out of her car.

"Sara!" She shouted, knowing it was pointless. "Sara!"

And so Catherine walked. She walked until she thought she could walk no further, then she walked some more. Her mouth was as dry as the floor she walked upon, but she knew Sara would need the water more when she found her- and she _would_ find her.

There had been a flash storm. Catherine knew this to be factual, and yet it seemed as though it had never rained at all. She stopped for a second, staring out across the empty desert.

She saw something. A pack of coyotes, she thought. They were gathered around something, and for a moment, Catherine panicked. She ran toward the animals, shouting and waving her arms. The coyotes ran, and Catherine saw.

Catherine saw the car.

"No!" She shouted, blindly running towards the car. She pictured Sara underneath it, her lifeless body. Drowned in the desert. She pictured Sara fighting and giving up- but she knew that Sara would never give up. At least, she wanted to believe it.

She reached the car, put her hand on the hot metal. Slowly, she kneeled down. Terror bled through her as she looked underneath the car.

Sara wasn't there. Sara wasn't there! Sara was alive!

As the relief made Catherine laugh, she had another realisation. The desert was hot. Catherine had been out for an hour now, and her mouth felt like sand. Sara had been out her for god knows how long. She wasn't out of the woods yet.

Catherine called the lab. No reception, so she sent a message detailing her finding, and walked on.


	4. Finding Sara Sidle Part 2

Sara sat down. It was noon, and the desert felt like living fire. She could almost feel her bones burning. She took off her sweat-drenched shirt and tied it around her head like a bandana, hoping it would cool her down a bit but knowing that within minutes it would too heat up. Oh, well. At least it kept her hair out of her eyes.

She thought about the past few years. It had seemed too good to be true when she had been accepted into the team- especially with Warrick. Is this the price she had to pay? Agonising death for the love of good people.

_It was worth every second._

Never had she deemed herself worthy of any of it. It had seemed like she had fallen in to this life by accident, and here was the proof. Here, in the luck that favours the damned. She'd had this feeling, deep down, that it couldn't last. And here she was, in the desert, abandoned.

Her parents had given her one gift, before they left. The gift of scepticism. She could look at her life and know that those people who claimed to love her were liars. One day, they would all walk away and it would be for nothing.

It happened time and again. She dated Joey in college- a relationship that eventually made six years and broke down abruptly. She dated Alex in San Francisco, and she loved her dearly, but Alex destroyed her heart. She had fallen in love once again, but had decided to hold that at arm's length. When Sara loved, she did it wholeheartedly, and she couldn't stand that wreckage again. It would surely kill her.

Still, what she wouldn't give to have Grissom rescue her just one more time.

She stood up, sighed, and started walking. If she died, she'd die fighting.

**THIS IS A PAGE BREAK. **

Catherine was getting delirious. She knew that if it came down to it, Sara could last out here for so much longer than her, despite not growing up in the dry, desert land. Catherine's pale skin was not built for this weather, and her determination not to touch what she had labelled as "Sara's water" was not helping matters. Still. She had to find her, or die trying.

If there was one thing desert solitude lent itself to, it was deep thought. A few miles back, Catherine had noticed something. Back at the lab, the boys were calm and collected. Catherine had distanced herself from Sara in the belief that she had a family in the rest of the team. She'd thought it was for the best for both of them, but it occurred that it may have been much, much worse. She recalled a team photo where she'd been making a joke about Grissom to Sara, how she'd been close enough to feel the heat, how it sounded when Sara had laughed. Sara was her best friend, and Catherine Willows loved her.

It seemed hours had passed when she glanced up hopelessly, all but ready to give up. A dot on the horizon was moving. It was moving! It had to be Sara, surely? The universe wouldn't rip the rug out from under her feet again, would it?

She had to believe that it wouldn't.

"Sara!" She screamed, waving her arms over her head. "Sara! I'm coming!"

She gathered the rest of her energy and tried to run, stumbled and fell.

_If only I'd brought sunscreen._

The thought was dull and lifeless, and Catherine blacked out.


	5. Finding Sara Sidle Part 3

When Catherine came to, cold water splashed over her face. She coughed, spluttered, opened her eyes and saw the last person she wanted to see.

Grissom.

"I thought you were Sara." He stated in a slightly bemused voice. "Then I came over to save you… her and you weren't."

Catherine felt weak but she felt rage rise within her. Grissom carried on, unawares.

"I thought maybe if I found her before she died, you might forgive me."

Catherine stared. There were so many things wrong with that sentence!

"It… It should be for her, Grissom. It should all be for her! You should fight for her because you are supposed to love her! And even if you didn't, she's one of us. We've crossed bridges like that before, with people we didn't even know, and we pushed the boat right out!"

Grissom coughed. Catherine lay back on the scorching sand, exhausted and dry-mouthed.

"It was for her too. I just don't like to end things on a bad note, especially when I don't really understand what I've done wrong."

Catherine looked at him coldly. "Fuck you, Grissom" and then "Have you got any water?"

Grissom threw his backpack down next to her. "Take it," he said distractedly. "I'm going back to the lab."

The far away look in his eyes gave Catherine the feeling that he'd thought of something vitally important. He walked away, and Catherine sat up and ripped open the backpack, wholly aware of the weight of hers.

She gulped two bottles of water before she saw the other contents of the bag. Crisps. Energy bars. A hexi-stove and dehydrated meals! She ate three energy bars and decided she'd add the rest to her Sara Survival Kit, and she stood up unsteadily.

_Find Sara._

**ANOTHER PAGE BREAK**

Sara was tired, dehydrated and hallucinating.

She saw the team gathered around the red car. Approaching, she could hear what they were saying.

"…Shame she drowned. She was a damn good CSI." Nicky was saying.

"Yeah." Greg agreed. "She was a great friend too. Always there for me."

"I loved the way she…" Warrick trailed off, not knowing how to finish the sentence. It wasn't that he was choked with emotion- although they were all crying, they seemed to be coping.

None of them knew Sara. If Sara died out here, they'd always blame themselves for not bridging that gap and trying to get to know her. They'd carry it for the rest of their lives

And Sara would die knowing that it wasn't their fault. Sure, they could have tried harder to get to know her, but if they had, she'd have pushed them away. She wouldn't want that closeness, couldn't trust it, couldn't live with ruining it.

She had no energy. She felt it draining from her. She collapsed onto the floor and decided to make a dying wish. It was all against the scientist in her but who cared? She would die out here. She prayed that, just for one last time, she could see the one person she cared about the most. Even if it was a mirage.

Something slammed into her side and Sara didn't care. She kept her eyes closed.

_Don't be stupid. You aren't dying out here. _


End file.
